“Can She Be My Soul Mate?”
Many men use the idea of having a soul mate as a comfort tool. They believe that one day they’ll meet that special someone and all of their dating and relationship problems will magically disappear. This is a terrible way of thinking.
Men who have few options with women have what is called a Scarcity Mindset. This limited mindset causes men to hold false beliefs and inhibit bad behavior toward the women they choose. A man who feels he has limited choices will easily obsess and/or attach himself to the few women he meets. Lets explore this further.
The Fantasy Of “The One”
Society pours the idea down your throat that there is only one person out there for you. They call them “the one”, “soul mates”, “twin flame”, or any other ridiculous name. These things are about as real as Santa Claus, Tooth Fairies, and Leprechauns, yet so many people like to fantasize that they are real.
The truth is there is not one person you are meant for. Holding this belief only holds you back from seeing the truth and having real options in your dating life. Sure some women are more “compatible” for you than others, but with over 3 billion women on this planet to choose from if you’re still thinking there’s only one for you, you are only limiting yourself.
People like to convince themselves that they’ve found a soul mate when they’ve made poor choices with who they date then all of a sudden someone comes along that they actually have things in common with and because they’ve never experienced this before they call them their “soul mate”.
Thinking that you can’t feel the same way about any other person is a false belief. That’s great that you were able to establish a strong bond with one woman but to think you can’t feel that same way about another woman is completely false. This type of mentality keeps people from moving on after relationships. It keeps them from getting out of bad relationships they should have never been in in the first place!
Be Complete On Your Own
We’ve all heard the other suck up false belief, “you complete me”. Men and women who are looking for someone to complete them are only hiding the fact from themselves that they don’t feel complete as a person on their own.
You need to find yourself and be completely satisfied with who you are, don’t try to find yourself in another person. You need to have more going on for you than her. Think about how unattractive that is to have nothing going on for yourself than her.
The moment you make her the center of who you are you lose the very thing that made her attracted to you. She was likely attracted to you for who you were and all the interesting things about you. Now if what you have going on for yourself is her, she will not be attracted to you.
This mentality will make you start to get needy toward her. You might subconsciously start sucking up to her. You might seek her approval as if she’s better than you. She will quickly pick up on these queues and lose attraction for you.
Learn To See Abundance
Once you learn to see abundance in the women you have to choose from it will open up a whole new world of opportunity for your dating life. You will never come from a “take what you can get” mind frame. You will see a ton of choice and will allow yourself to become choosy.
Guys often settle for someone they don’t actually want. When you’re with a woman and you are going to be exclusive with her ask your self, “If I could be with anyone I wanted, no matter what, would I choose this woman”. If the answer is no, you have made the wrong decision.
If you’re the type that’s only taken what he can get you likely don’t know what you want. Sure you should have a basic idea of what type of women you prefer, but you don’t really know what you want unless you’ve experienced a lot of different women. You might realize the type you think you want might turn out to not be right for you once you’ve dated that type.
There are a lot of women who also have Scarcity Mindset, but beautiful women do not. They have tons of men to choose from and they know it. They cannot relate to a man who doesn’t also see abundance. Women are attracted to men who are choosers, not men who wait to be chosen.
People are often scared to get out of relationships that they know aren’t right for them because they are scared that they won’t find someone else. It is important that you make being an attractive man a part of your identity and you are able keep that identity and still see abundance even in a relationship.
This will allow you to make healthier relationship decisions for yourself. If you decide that a relationship is not good for you it is easier to walk away knowing that you can get another woman rather than staying and creating an unhealthy situation for both of you because you lack the ability to see abundance.
You must believe there is abundance to receive abundance because once you believe your thoughts and actions will cause behavior that will allow it. Use this new mindset to allow you to not be needy or care about the outcome of any interaction. Be willing to walk away from all interactions.
Picking a mate is a big deal so be choosy. Keep your options open and get experienced. Whoever you do choose will be grateful because you’re a man with options and you chose her!