Jason Julius from Orgasm Arts goes over a great little game you can play with your date to smoothly initiate touch in a non creepy way.
Throughout recent time society has implanted ideas in the heads of men that to gain the affection of an attractive woman they have to give in to her every whim and want. Buy her all these things, do everything for her and maybe she’ll accept you as a mate. For yourself you need to own the nice car, have the great house and expensive toys to go with it. All if you want to attract and have sex with an attractive woman, but why?
The answer is quite simple if you take a step back and look. Think of all the money you’ve spent on your last serious girlfriend or even the last date you went on. A date alone can cost 200 dollars or more in a big city or 100 dollars on the cheap end. If you date her for any significant amount of time your bill could be in the thousands of dollars over time.
We logically know that this is stupid. We say to our selves, “Why am I spending all this money on these women?” It’s because if people stopped going out on expensive dinner dates the restaurant business would suffer severely. If men quit buying their significant other diamonds the diamond business would go out of business. If men knew that a woman could be just as attracted to you if you drove a Honda than if you drove a Ferrari, men wouldn’t buy Ferrari’s anymore. Well men will probably always want Ferraris, but you would think differently about owning it. You would own it purely for your enjoyment not totally as a chick magnet.
The dating industry as a whole is a billion dollar a year business and if people stopped spending all their money on dating you would start to see economic fallout. So it’s society’s job to see to it that you keep spending your money.
An example of social influence is movies where the nice guy who does everything right in society’s eyes, takes the girl out to dinner when she wants and buys her presents gets the girl in the end. People don’t believe other things that happen in movies why believe this bullshit! Or the slogan of a major diamond dealer “A diamond is forever” giving you the idea that if you buy her the diamond she’ll love you forever, yeah right. T.V. radio, and magazines are full of this kind of social programming.
One of the biggest socially programmed days in our society is Valentines Day with 192 million cards alone exchanged every year. That’s a lot of money and that doesn’t even count the kids packages that are sold for them to give out at school. Along with the cards there are flowers, restaurant dinners, hotel rooms, limos, presents and the list goes on and on.
It was estimated last year consumers spent 13.7 billion dollars on Valentines Day related things and is second only to Mothers Day for dining out with 35 % of Americans going out to eat. As you can see I’m not talking about pocket change, society has a big interest in keeping your wallet open and your credit cards swiping.
Now I’m not saying that you can’t buy your woman a present every now and then or surprise her with an evening out but too many men take these kind of actions as “if I do this stuff for her she will never leave me” and that’s wrongful thinking. Superficial stuff has nothing to do with her attraction to you.
One of the biggest mistakes men make once they’ve been talking to a woman for awhile, and things seem to be going well, is they don’t escalate further than just having a normal conversation. Once things are going well many men don’t take things further because they don’t want to screw things up, or they don’t believe that the woman could really be into them.
When you don’t escalate things in a sexual nature you are communicating to the woman that you don’t want a sexual relationship with her. You’re conveying that you just want to be friends and you’re likely to hear the words “just friends”.
Once you’ve been placed in the friend zone it’s very hard to get out of and if you’re in the friend zone and try to escalate sexually it will just come off as weird. If you find yourself in the friend zone with a woman it is usually best to move on and be happy you’ve made a new friend.
To avoid the friend zone you want to make your intentions known very early in the interaction. You are a sexual being and so is she. Don’t be afraid to be a man and bring out the woman in her.
By making your intentions known to her you are communicating that you are an alpha male who’s not afraid to go for what he wants, this is very attractive to her.
There are tons of different ways to escalate in the interaction.
Here are just a few examples:
– Communicate to her that she is sexy
– Touch her
– Tickle her
– Kiss her
– Make up pet names for her
– Whisper things in her ear
– When seated slowly start bringing your legs together so that they touch every so often.
If when you’re attempting to escalate and she seems a little distant it is probably because she doesn’t feel comfortable enough with you yet, so go back to normal conversation and try to escalate again later.
It’s important that if this does happen to not let it affect you, remember you are the confident alpha male that lives in his own reality and nothing bothers you. A woman wants to be picked up, but she wants you to do it. She’s not just going to hand her self over to you this is why it is so important to ESCALATE!
Men often pre-occupy themselves with trying to figure out if a woman is in to them. There are tons of subtle little things a woman will do while talking to you to let you know that she is interested in you sexually. Such as playful touching, flipping her hair, putting on lip-gloss, and the list goes on and on.
Rather then being to concerned at looking for these cues it’s a better practice to always assume it’s on, or always assume she’s into you and you can escalate in a sexual nature at any time. This is a better way of thinking for a couple different reasons.
- If you are always looking for cues that’s she’s into you, you can become to involved in looking for these cues and you’ll come off as you’re seeking to get something from her.
- When you always assume it’s on you are implanting in your head that all women want you and they have no choice but to be into you. What you believe to be true will become true.
So now that you know you need to escalate there is one more thing to keep in mind. When escalating in a public venue, such as a bar or club, you want to make sure to not escalate to far, to far meaning going past making out and going to arousal. Escalating this far can cause regret. Then she will associate those bad feelings toward you. Wait till you get to a private location before taking it to that level.
Here are some other key points to keep in mind when escalating:
Kissing or making out in a club is not a big deal to women. Often times an attractive woman will have multiple make outs every weekend she goes out and has kissed thousands of guys over her lifetime. Once you start thinking this way you will notice how incredibly easy it is to get a make out in the club.
Just because you got a make out doesn’t mean you’re going to get her number or hang out with her later, you just made out with her that’s it.
It is possible to have sex with a woman the same night you meet her. What you believe can happen will happen. There is no set amount of time a woman takes to decide to have sex with you. Once you display the right characteristics to her and she feels she knows the real you she will be ready for sex. She may take a week before she is ready with one man or she could be ready that night if a man is able to flip enough of her attraction switches.
Many men feel they need to wait to have sex with a woman in fear of disrespecting her or ruining their chances of becoming her boyfriend this is total bullshit! Having sex with a woman quickly will not ruin the chance of a future relationship with her! Actually if you have more of a chance of losing her if you get her to the point of being ready and wanting sex and not pulling the trigger!
How many times have you been in the club, the grocery store, the library, wherever and you see a woman that catches your eye and you think, “I should go say something to her”, but then you don’t?
Why didn’t you go up to her? An excuse similar to the following probably stopped you: “Oh she looked busy”, “she was with her friends”, “she didn’t seem like she wanted to be bothered”, “I’m just relaxing, I don’t want to talk to anyone”, “she’s not my type”, etc.
Whatever excuses you’re telling yourself stop it!
Excuses are like drugs they are very addictive. When you didn’t approach the woman you felt down on yourself because you know that you should have approached.
Then you make an excuse (oh she was with her friends) and all of a sudden you feel a little better because now in your mind there’s no possible way you could have ever approached her because she was busy with her friends.
I call this “it’s not my fault” thinking. In reality you would have felt much better about yourself if you would have approached and gotten rejected rather than not approach at all because when you approached you acted like a man and did what you wanted.
The alpha male lives in his own reality and makes his own rules. If you see a woman you want to talk to, go and talk to her! Don’t think about it, just do it!
Women are naturally more aware of their social surroundings. If you are lingering around trying to get the courage to approach she will notice this. If you approach after lingering it most likely will come off as you were trying to think of something to say and it’ll come off very awkward. On the other hand if you approach with out thinking, it appears to her as if you just came out of no where and all of sudden here’s this cool guy sweeping her off her feet.
Approaching is not the only thing men make excuses about. Take this scenario: You approach a woman in a bar. You start talking to her and the interaction isn’t going anywhere. You bail and think to yourself, “what a bitch”. You blame the interaction going bad on her and not yourself. That is just another excuse.
Pound this in your head: It’s never the woman’s fault!
If she didn’t want to talk to you it’s likely you did something wrong somewhere in the interaction. You may have come off as needy, had bad body language, or said the same thing every other guy has said to her all night. Whatever it was something flipped a switch in her head that she shouldn’t make an effort to get to know you.
I’m not telling you this so you can feel bad about bad interactions. I’m telling you this because it is very important that you look at every interaction as a learning experience. Eliminating the excuse you use to protect your ego allows you to see the truth in the interaction.
All reactions that you get from women in the interaction should be viewed as feedback. If you’re getting positive reactions from her then you are getting feedback saying you are doing something right, keep doing it. If you are getting negative reactions from her you are getting negative feedback that you are doing something wrong, stop doing it or change it.
When you make excuses instead of taking it as feedback and learning from it, you are saying to yourself that you did nothing wrong therefore you have no reason to change and you will never improve.
You need to cut out all excuses and take responsibly for your own life. The excuses are not serving you in a positive way. The only thing they are doing is holding you back from being the cool successful man you deserve to be.
This is a very important question to ask yourself. Sure you say, “I want the hot one or the cute one” but believe it or not their personalities do matter. Not only do personalities matter but also what point they’re at in their lives.
Whether they are young and just having fun or if they’re older and more established all this matters depending on where you’re at in your life.
If you’re the kind of guy who likes to stay home and not go out then a woman in her 20’s is probably not going to be best for you.
On the other hand if your more of the stay at home type maybe you want someone who’s a little older and more settled. The important thing to keep in mind is there are millions of women out there, so on your search for the perfect one don’t get discouraged if you don’t find her right away it will take some time.
As far as looks go there are tons of different types of women from the super hot ones that every guy wants to ones that look a bit homely that not many guys talk to.
Something to keep in mind is the super hot model a lot of times doesn’t have the great personality that maybe a woman who’s not quite as good looking does.
If you plan on spending any amount of time with her this matters! So really take some time and figure out where you’re at in your life and what you want out of a relationship with a woman.
If it’s just sex you’re looking for maybe personality doesn’t matter as much, but if you want to talk to her it might. Just know what you want.Now you know what type of woman you want so where do you find her?
If you’re looking for that 20 something party girl then probably the best place to look for her is at a club or bar, but if you want that sexy business type then you’re best bet would be coffee shops, lounges, or bookstores. Not to say that both types won’t frequent the other venues but it’s just a rule of thumb.
If you’re going out in clubs and bars the atmosphere is going to be much different then that of a coffee house. Clubs are going to be loud, lots of stuff going on to distract the both of you. This is not necessarily a good thing or a bad thing you just need to know how to deal with it by being a cool interesting guy, which nothing bothers you. If you can do that you can overcome any loud bar or club.
If the bar or club scene isn’t really your thing try out some coffee shops or bookstores. Many times it takes much less effort to get to know a woman in this kind of atmosphere.
The reason being when a woman goes to a club she’s knows she’s going to be hit on so her defenses will be up, but because she’s not necessarily expecting to be hit on just hanging in a coffee shop or store her guard will be lowered.
With her guard lowered it makes it much easier for you to strike up a conversation. Bars, clubs, coffee houses and bookstores are not the only places that you can meet women. Wherever women are present is a good place to meet women. So no matter where you’re at if you see a woman you want to talk to go and talk to her.
You’re going to meet lots of women from lots of different backgrounds and cultures, some of them you will like others you won’t. It’s okay to experiment a little to truly find what you like.