Jason Julius from Orgasm Arts goes over a great little game you can play with your date to smoothly initiate touch in a non creepy way.
Throughout recent time society has implanted ideas in the heads of men that to gain the affection of an attractive woman they have to give in to her every whim and want. Buy her all these things, do everything for her and maybe she’ll accept you as a mate. For yourself you need to own the nice car, have the great house and expensive toys to go with it. All if you want to attract and have sex with an attractive woman, but why?
The answer is quite simple if you take a step back and look. Think of all the money you’ve spent on your last serious girlfriend or even the last date you went on. A date alone can cost 200 dollars or more in a big city or 100 dollars on the cheap end. If you date her for any significant amount of time your bill could be in the thousands of dollars over time.
We logically know that this is stupid. We say to our selves, “Why am I spending all this money on these women?” It’s because if people stopped going out on expensive dinner dates the restaurant business would suffer severely. If men quit buying their significant other diamonds the diamond business would go out of business. If men knew that a woman could be just as attracted to you if you drove a Honda than if you drove a Ferrari, men wouldn’t buy Ferrari’s anymore. Well men will probably always want Ferraris, but you would think differently about owning it. You would own it purely for your enjoyment not totally as a chick magnet.
The dating industry as a whole is a billion dollar a year business and if people stopped spending all their money on dating you would start to see economic fallout. So it’s society’s job to see to it that you keep spending your money.
An example of social influence is movies where the nice guy who does everything right in society’s eyes, takes the girl out to dinner when she wants and buys her presents gets the girl in the end. People don’t believe other things that happen in movies why believe this bullshit! Or the slogan of a major diamond dealer “A diamond is forever” giving you the idea that if you buy her the diamond she’ll love you forever, yeah right. T.V. radio, and magazines are full of this kind of social programming.
One of the biggest socially programmed days in our society is Valentines Day with 192 million cards alone exchanged every year. That’s a lot of money and that doesn’t even count the kids packages that are sold for them to give out at school. Along with the cards there are flowers, restaurant dinners, hotel rooms, limos, presents and the list goes on and on.
It was estimated last year consumers spent 13.7 billion dollars on Valentines Day related things and is second only to Mothers Day for dining out with 35 % of Americans going out to eat. As you can see I’m not talking about pocket change, society has a big interest in keeping your wallet open and your credit cards swiping.
Now I’m not saying that you can’t buy your woman a present every now and then or surprise her with an evening out but too many men take these kind of actions as “if I do this stuff for her she will never leave me” and that’s wrongful thinking. Superficial stuff has nothing to do with her attraction to you.
One of the biggest mistakes men make once they’ve been talking to a woman for awhile, and things seem to be going well, is they don’t escalate further than just having a normal conversation. Once things are going well many men don’t take things further because they don’t want to screw things up, or they don’t believe that the woman could really be into them.
When you don’t escalate things in a sexual nature you are communicating to the woman that you don’t want a sexual relationship with her. You’re conveying that you just want to be friends and you’re likely to hear the words “just friends”.
Once you’ve been placed in the friend zone it’s very hard to get out of and if you’re in the friend zone and try to escalate sexually it will just come off as weird. If you find yourself in the friend zone with a woman it is usually best to move on and be happy you’ve made a new friend.
To avoid the friend zone you want to make your intentions known very early in the interaction. You are a sexual being and so is she. Don’t be afraid to be a man and bring out the woman in her.
By making your intentions known to her you are communicating that you are an alpha male who’s not afraid to go for what he wants, this is very attractive to her.
There are tons of different ways to escalate in the interaction.
Here are just a few examples:
– Communicate to her that she is sexy
– Touch her
– Tickle her
– Kiss her
– Make up pet names for her
– Whisper things in her ear
– When seated slowly start bringing your legs together so that they touch every so often.
If when you’re attempting to escalate and she seems a little distant it is probably because she doesn’t feel comfortable enough with you yet, so go back to normal conversation and try to escalate again later.
It’s important that if this does happen to not let it affect you, remember you are the confident alpha male that lives in his own reality and nothing bothers you. A woman wants to be picked up, but she wants you to do it. She’s not just going to hand her self over to you this is why it is so important to ESCALATE!
Men often pre-occupy themselves with trying to figure out if a woman is in to them. There are tons of subtle little things a woman will do while talking to you to let you know that she is interested in you sexually. Such as playful touching, flipping her hair, putting on lip-gloss, and the list goes on and on.
Rather then being to concerned at looking for these cues it’s a better practice to always assume it’s on, or always assume she’s into you and you can escalate in a sexual nature at any time. This is a better way of thinking for a couple different reasons.
- If you are always looking for cues that’s she’s into you, you can become to involved in looking for these cues and you’ll come off as you’re seeking to get something from her.
- When you always assume it’s on you are implanting in your head that all women want you and they have no choice but to be into you. What you believe to be true will become true.
So now that you know you need to escalate there is one more thing to keep in mind. When escalating in a public venue, such as a bar or club, you want to make sure to not escalate to far, to far meaning going past making out and going to arousal. Escalating this far can cause regret. Then she will associate those bad feelings toward you. Wait till you get to a private location before taking it to that level.
Here are some other key points to keep in mind when escalating:
Kissing or making out in a club is not a big deal to women. Often times an attractive woman will have multiple make outs every weekend she goes out and has kissed thousands of guys over her lifetime. Once you start thinking this way you will notice how incredibly easy it is to get a make out in the club.
Just because you got a make out doesn’t mean you’re going to get her number or hang out with her later, you just made out with her that’s it.
It is possible to have sex with a woman the same night you meet her. What you believe can happen will happen. There is no set amount of time a woman takes to decide to have sex with you. Once you display the right characteristics to her and she feels she knows the real you she will be ready for sex. She may take a week before she is ready with one man or she could be ready that night if a man is able to flip enough of her attraction switches.
Many men feel they need to wait to have sex with a woman in fear of disrespecting her or ruining their chances of becoming her boyfriend this is total bullshit! Having sex with a woman quickly will not ruin the chance of a future relationship with her! Actually if you have more of a chance of losing her if you get her to the point of being ready and wanting sex and not pulling the trigger!
How many times have you been in the club, the grocery store, the library, wherever and you see a woman that catches your eye and you think, “I should go say something to her”, but then you don’t?
Why didn’t you go up to her? An excuse similar to the following probably stopped you: “Oh she looked busy”, “she was with her friends”, “she didn’t seem like she wanted to be bothered”, “I’m just relaxing, I don’t want to talk to anyone”, “she’s not my type”, etc.
Whatever excuses you’re telling yourself stop it!
Excuses are like drugs they are very addictive. When you didn’t approach the woman you felt down on yourself because you know that you should have approached.
Then you make an excuse (oh she was with her friends) and all of a sudden you feel a little better because now in your mind there’s no possible way you could have ever approached her because she was busy with her friends.
I call this “it’s not my fault” thinking. In reality you would have felt much better about yourself if you would have approached and gotten rejected rather than not approach at all because when you approached you acted like a man and did what you wanted.
The alpha male lives in his own reality and makes his own rules. If you see a woman you want to talk to, go and talk to her! Don’t think about it, just do it!
Women are naturally more aware of their social surroundings. If you are lingering around trying to get the courage to approach she will notice this. If you approach after lingering it most likely will come off as you were trying to think of something to say and it’ll come off very awkward. On the other hand if you approach with out thinking, it appears to her as if you just came out of no where and all of sudden here’s this cool guy sweeping her off her feet.
Approaching is not the only thing men make excuses about. Take this scenario: You approach a woman in a bar. You start talking to her and the interaction isn’t going anywhere. You bail and think to yourself, “what a bitch”. You blame the interaction going bad on her and not yourself. That is just another excuse.
Pound this in your head: It’s never the woman’s fault!
If she didn’t want to talk to you it’s likely you did something wrong somewhere in the interaction. You may have come off as needy, had bad body language, or said the same thing every other guy has said to her all night. Whatever it was something flipped a switch in her head that she shouldn’t make an effort to get to know you.
I’m not telling you this so you can feel bad about bad interactions. I’m telling you this because it is very important that you look at every interaction as a learning experience. Eliminating the excuse you use to protect your ego allows you to see the truth in the interaction.
All reactions that you get from women in the interaction should be viewed as feedback. If you’re getting positive reactions from her then you are getting feedback saying you are doing something right, keep doing it. If you are getting negative reactions from her you are getting negative feedback that you are doing something wrong, stop doing it or change it.
When you make excuses instead of taking it as feedback and learning from it, you are saying to yourself that you did nothing wrong therefore you have no reason to change and you will never improve.
You need to cut out all excuses and take responsibly for your own life. The excuses are not serving you in a positive way. The only thing they are doing is holding you back from being the cool successful man you deserve to be.
This is a very important question to ask yourself. Sure you say, “I want the hot one or the cute one” but believe it or not their personalities do matter. Not only do personalities matter but also what point they’re at in their lives.
Whether they are young and just having fun or if they’re older and more established all this matters depending on where you’re at in your life.
If you’re the kind of guy who likes to stay home and not go out then a woman in her 20’s is probably not going to be best for you.
On the other hand if your more of the stay at home type maybe you want someone who’s a little older and more settled. The important thing to keep in mind is there are millions of women out there, so on your search for the perfect one don’t get discouraged if you don’t find her right away it will take some time.
As far as looks go there are tons of different types of women from the super hot ones that every guy wants to ones that look a bit homely that not many guys talk to.
Something to keep in mind is the super hot model a lot of times doesn’t have the great personality that maybe a woman who’s not quite as good looking does.
If you plan on spending any amount of time with her this matters! So really take some time and figure out where you’re at in your life and what you want out of a relationship with a woman.
If it’s just sex you’re looking for maybe personality doesn’t matter as much, but if you want to talk to her it might. Just know what you want.Now you know what type of woman you want so where do you find her?
If you’re looking for that 20 something party girl then probably the best place to look for her is at a club or bar, but if you want that sexy business type then you’re best bet would be coffee shops, lounges, or bookstores. Not to say that both types won’t frequent the other venues but it’s just a rule of thumb.
If you’re going out in clubs and bars the atmosphere is going to be much different then that of a coffee house. Clubs are going to be loud, lots of stuff going on to distract the both of you. This is not necessarily a good thing or a bad thing you just need to know how to deal with it by being a cool interesting guy, which nothing bothers you. If you can do that you can overcome any loud bar or club.
If the bar or club scene isn’t really your thing try out some coffee shops or bookstores. Many times it takes much less effort to get to know a woman in this kind of atmosphere.
The reason being when a woman goes to a club she’s knows she’s going to be hit on so her defenses will be up, but because she’s not necessarily expecting to be hit on just hanging in a coffee shop or store her guard will be lowered.
With her guard lowered it makes it much easier for you to strike up a conversation. Bars, clubs, coffee houses and bookstores are not the only places that you can meet women. Wherever women are present is a good place to meet women. So no matter where you’re at if you see a woman you want to talk to go and talk to her.
You’re going to meet lots of women from lots of different backgrounds and cultures, some of them you will like others you won’t. It’s okay to experiment a little to truly find what you like.
“Still Searching For The Best Pick Up Lines? I’m Going To Teach You Secrets To Attracting Women That Most Men Will Never Know About… “
Are you still looking for the best pick up lines for approaching women? Do you have the guts to walk up to a mixed group of men and women in order to get the girl you want?
When you are doing a cold approach, meaning walking up to strangers you’ve never met before, there are two ways to approach.
You either open direct or indirect. Let me explain…
When you open direct, this means you give a statement of intent right away letting her know that you are interested in her.
An example would be, “You are really cute, I had to come over here and see if there’s more to you than meets the eye.”
Anytime you give a statement of intent such as “You are really cute…” you want to balance that with a statement of disinterest such as “…I had to come over here and see if there’s more to you than meets the eye.”
Giving a compliment directly and waiting for her reaction can make her feel uncomfortable and make you seem needy and low value. Balancing it out like in the above opener shows that you value more than just her beauty.
Another example of a direct opener done in this way would be, “You’re very beautiful, but I bet we’d never get along”. This statement shows interest but also adds a challenge to her when you balance it out with “…but I bet we’d never get along.”
Opening direct can present problems when you have to approach a group of people. You might not want to give a statement of intent because you don’t want the rest of the group to “cock block” you.
This is when we use indirect openers. Indirect openers are neutral in that they give no indicators that you are after the girl. An indirect opener should engage the entire group and get them all interested in you.
An example would be “Hey guys, real quick, can I get your opinion on something? Who do you think lies more, guys or girls?”
This will start a conversation with the group in a neutral friendly way. After you’ve launched into this type of opener you can then move into a story and begin to befriend the group while pumping up the attraction with the woman you are interested in.
“Can She Be My Soul Mate?”
Many men use the idea of having a soul mate as a comfort tool. They believe that one day they’ll meet that special someone and all of their dating and relationship problems will magically disappear. This is a terrible way of thinking.
Men who have few options with women have what is called a Scarcity Mindset. This limited mindset causes men to hold false beliefs and inhibit bad behavior toward the women they choose. A man who feels he has limited choices will easily obsess and/or attach himself to the few women he meets. Lets explore this further.
The Fantasy Of “The One”
Society pours the idea down your throat that there is only one person out there for you. They call them “the one”, “soul mates”, “twin flame”, or any other ridiculous name. These things are about as real as Santa Claus, Tooth Fairies, and Leprechauns, yet so many people like to fantasize that they are real.
The truth is there is not one person you are meant for. Holding this belief only holds you back from seeing the truth and having real options in your dating life. Sure some women are more “compatible” for you than others, but with over 3 billion women on this planet to choose from if you’re still thinking there’s only one for you, you are only limiting yourself.
People like to convince themselves that they’ve found a soul mate when they’ve made poor choices with who they date then all of a sudden someone comes along that they actually have things in common with and because they’ve never experienced this before they call them their “soul mate”.
Thinking that you can’t feel the same way about any other person is a false belief. That’s great that you were able to establish a strong bond with one woman but to think you can’t feel that same way about another woman is completely false. This type of mentality keeps people from moving on after relationships. It keeps them from getting out of bad relationships they should have never been in in the first place!
Be Complete On Your Own
We’ve all heard the other suck up false belief, “you complete me”. Men and women who are looking for someone to complete them are only hiding the fact from themselves that they don’t feel complete as a person on their own.
You need to find yourself and be completely satisfied with who you are, don’t try to find yourself in another person. You need to have more going on for you than her. Think about how unattractive that is to have nothing going on for yourself than her.
The moment you make her the center of who you are you lose the very thing that made her attracted to you. She was likely attracted to you for who you were and all the interesting things about you. Now if what you have going on for yourself is her, she will not be attracted to you.
This mentality will make you start to get needy toward her. You might subconsciously start sucking up to her. You might seek her approval as if she’s better than you. She will quickly pick up on these queues and lose attraction for you.
Learn To See Abundance
Once you learn to see abundance in the women you have to choose from it will open up a whole new world of opportunity for your dating life. You will never come from a “take what you can get” mind frame. You will see a ton of choice and will allow yourself to become choosy.
Guys often settle for someone they don’t actually want. When you’re with a woman and you are going to be exclusive with her ask your self, “If I could be with anyone I wanted, no matter what, would I choose this woman”. If the answer is no, you have made the wrong decision.
If you’re the type that’s only taken what he can get you likely don’t know what you want. Sure you should have a basic idea of what type of women you prefer, but you don’t really know what you want unless you’ve experienced a lot of different women. You might realize the type you think you want might turn out to not be right for you once you’ve dated that type.
There are a lot of women who also have Scarcity Mindset, but beautiful women do not. They have tons of men to choose from and they know it. They cannot relate to a man who doesn’t also see abundance. Women are attracted to men who are choosers, not men who wait to be chosen.
People are often scared to get out of relationships that they know aren’t right for them because they are scared that they won’t find someone else. It is important that you make being an attractive man a part of your identity and you are able keep that identity and still see abundance even in a relationship.
This will allow you to make healthier relationship decisions for yourself. If you decide that a relationship is not good for you it is easier to walk away knowing that you can get another woman rather than staying and creating an unhealthy situation for both of you because you lack the ability to see abundance.
You must believe there is abundance to receive abundance because once you believe your thoughts and actions will cause behavior that will allow it. Use this new mindset to allow you to not be needy or care about the outcome of any interaction. Be willing to walk away from all interactions.
Picking a mate is a big deal so be choosy. Keep your options open and get experienced. Whoever you do choose will be grateful because you’re a man with options and you chose her!
“Dating Tips For Guys – How To Gain Attraction From Any Woman”
Congratulations on finding this article on dating tips for guys, you are about to join the 1% of men who know the correct information on how to attract a woman. What I’m going to give you is so much more than just dating tips for guys, I’m going to explain to you how attraction works for both men and women and how you can use that to your advantage to attract any woman you desire.
The first thing you must understand is that the way attraction works for a man is much different then the way attraction works for a woman. As a man you base whether or not you are attracted to a woman mostly on her appearance or the way she looks.
There is nothing wrong with this, in fact as men our brains are actually hard wired to work in this way. That’s why when you see a beautiful woman you can instantly know whether or not you would have sex with her. Women also know this, that’s why they spend so much time and money on things such as makeup, clothes, and anything else to make there outer appearance more attractive. A woman who is more attractive sub-communicates to men that she has better genes and thus is able to produce stronger off spring with a greater chance of survival.
Logically then as men we can assume that women are attracted to the same things such as looks, right? Wrong in fact that statement could not be more false. Looks are the least important factor when it comes to attracting a woman. You can add money, what kind of job you have, and what kind of car you drive to the list of things that don’t matter when attracting women. Attraction for a woman is all based on emotion where as a man’s attraction is based on logic.
A woman’s emotion attraction part of her brain is like a set of switches that can be switched in your favor or against you all depending on how you make her feel. So when you flip the switches in your favor she’s attracted to you and when you flip them against you she’s not attracted to you. Let me say it again flipping this switches has NOTHING to do with your looks or how much money you have!
The key to flipping her emotional switches to is display the characteristics that she would be attracted to. Such as confidence, being your own man, living by your own set of values and the list goes on and on. When you’re flipping her switches you’re connecting with her on a very deep emotional level and she can’t help but be attracted to you. Just as men are hard wired to respond to beauty, women are hard wired to respond to an emotional connection.
The best part about this is you can actually learn exactly what it takes to be able to flip a woman’s emotional switches and have her attracted to you in a matter of seconds! This kind of stuff will work on any woman in any situation because all women respond to the same things. As you can see this goes much deeper than just a few dating tips for guys, it’s about learning a skill set and being able to have choice in the women you date.