Every man should know how to convey confidence to a woman, but many don’t. The funny thing is it’s actually more what you should NOT do rather than do. Let’s take a look at what not to do then a few things to do.
Don’t Seek Approval
Have you ever found yourself going out of your way to please someone just to gain his or her approval? This is what we mean by seeking approval. This is a common behavior of insecure men. They see other people as more important than themselves and will do anything to get their approval.
Guys often seek approval from beautiful women because they see the value of the woman’s beauty to be better than themselves. Often guys will also seek the approval of the dominant males of groups. In both cases these guys are giving approval in order to gain approval but the outcome is the person from whom they are seeking approval actually sees them as lower value.
Celebrities are a good example of this. They constantly have people sucking up to them to gain their approval. If you were to meet a celebrity and suck up to them they wouldn’t see you as an equal. But if instead you are cool and interesting and treat them as an equal they will see you as an equal.
Don’t Suck Up To Women
This goes along with not seeking approval but lets dive a little deeper. Guys are constantly sucking up to woman to try to gain approval from them.
Men buy women drinks before getting to know them. They also compliment women before getting to know them as if this will buy the woman’s approval. They use lines like:
“Tell me something, girl. Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven?”
“You’re so sexy, let me buy you a drink”
This type of behavior is painfully insulting because it conveys that you are only interested in sex. It proves all you’re giving her credit for is her appearance and you want sex from her. Women are not sex objects and do not enjoy being treated like one.
Women (especially beautiful women) get this all the time. Some women take advantage of it by getting free drinks from suck ups. Then they ditch them to go find a guy who doesn’t have to buy her attention.
This does not mean you cannot compliment women. It’s just that when you do compliment consider the timing of the compliment and what you might be complimenting on.
Give her something to be interested in you about. Once you’ve gotten to know her a little you could compliment her on her personality, style, or anything other than her looks. Then you will be complimenting her for who she is rather than her looks.
The same can be said about buying drinks. Don’t take this advice so far as to think you can’t buy women drinks. Just understand this is a horrible way to start a conversation. Once she’s earned your respect and you’d like to buy a round of drinks for the two of you, go for it.
Don’t Be Needy
Neediness is a sickness that many men have had and will continue to have. We need to put a stop to it for the sake of all women. There is not one woman who is attracted to a needy guy for the fact that he’s needy! This is a huge turn off for women!
Neediness refers to just needing something from a woman all the time. It could be something as simple as just standing by her for the comfort of having a woman near, or having to know where she is all the time and always wanting to hang out. Even the best couples need some time apart.
Let’s say you’re at a club and you meet a woman at the bar. Everything goes well starting out. Good conversation starts flowing, and attraction is mutual. After some heavy flirting you begin touching. She’s giving you a lot of attention and seems into you.
All of a sudden her girl friends come and take her away to the bathroom. Your mind starts obsessing over her. You start to look around the club to see if she’s coming back. Instead of interacting with others at the bar and patiently waiting for her to return you go try to seek her out.
You find her standing outside of the bathrooms talking to a group of people. She sees you and pulls you over to the group. You hover around her while she is talking to her friends. She leaves the group and you start following her around the club like a lost puppy. All your strong male characteristics shrink away and you become needy. She senses your neediness and loses attraction for you.
It’s a sad but true story for many men. They portray all the characteristics of a strong man and gain attraction. Then as soon as the woman shows interest they get needy toward her.
Many times alcohol can also bring neediness out. Good reason not to drink too much and know your limits.
Neediness tends to creep up more when you don’t have many women in your life. The more options you create with women the less needy you will become because you will see abundance. You see no reason to be needy over one woman you met at the bar.
One way to avoid neediness in the bar scene is after you separate from the first woman you’ve met that night, find another woman to talk to right away and just keep the flow going. Not only is this good for you in the fact that you get to meet a lot of woman but all the other previous women will see you talking to all these other women and thus make them even more attracted to you.
When you meet a woman just play it cool like meeting her was no big deal and you care nothing about the outcome of this interaction. Many times when you act in this manner the women will come and seek you out again to continue on the interaction.
Now that we went over somethings NOT to do lets go over somethings to do.
Live In Your Own Reality
In society today there are so many things pulling and tugging at us trying to shape us in some kind of way. Be this way, act like this guy, dress like this group of people, don’t do this or that. It all can be very confusing. So what do you do?
You first need to figure out from the inside out who you are, and what kind of person you want to be? Are you funny? Do you like to make people laugh? Are you the life of the party who always wants the attention? Or are you the somewhat shy mysterious type? From there you can start to build your own reality from which you draw from.
What is “my reality” you ask? Your reality is like a little bubble that surrounds you at all times and everything inside of that bubble you make your reality. You determine what is real or true.
For example in your reality if you think you are a hot guy then you are a hot guy no questions asked. Or if in your own reality you believe no woman can resist you then it’s true no woman can resist you.
What’s amazing about living inside your own reality is that when you believe it so much you will start to draw other people inside your bubble automatically without you even having to do anything. They will believe to be true whatever you believe to be true. If you believe you’re a hot guy you will start acting like a hot guy and you’re going to draw people into your reality and they will see you as a hot guy.
When you believe your sense of reality so much you can quite literally do whatever you want and people will see you as a cool guy who is completely comfortable with himself and doesn’t care what anyone thinks. You will find people will want to get to know you and be around you all the time because very rarely does a cool guy that is that comfortable with himself come around.
A great example of people that live in their own realities is rappers. Rappers have such a strong sense of who they are that they can wear whatever they want. They wear the giant chains, the huge over sized clothes with the diamond grills. Their sense of their own reality is so strong that people accept it and even want to be just like them.
A woman wants a man who’s different from other men. Most men have a very weak sense of reality. In fact most men live in other peoples realities because the social pressure is to great for them to hold their own.
When you have a strong sense of your own reality and are able to draw people into it, you separate yourself apart from most of the men out there, which will allow you to attract more women.
When you can suck a woman directly into your reality it can be very powerful because to the woman it’s like you’re completely different from anyone she’s ever met. To her it’s like you’re showing her and teaching her all these new things in a very short amount of time. When really all you’re doing is just giving her a piece of your reality the way you see things, but to her this is a very attractive quality.
When you live in your own reality and someone doesn’t like you that’s his or her problem not yours. You know exactly who you are and you don’t make any apologies for that. Never sway from who you are deep down inside and people will respect you for that.
Play Hard To Get
Think back to a time when you were a little kid and a relative or friend gave you a new toy. When you would play with this new toy you really didn’t think too much about it. If the new toy were to break you may be sad but it’s not too big of a deal because you didn’t buy it anyway.
Now think to a time when you got allowance and if you wanted a new toy you had to work and save for weeks before you had the money to buy it. When you finally saved enough and had bought your new toy you respected it much more than the other toys you had gotten for free. You knew all the hard work you had to put in to be able to purchase it and therefore placed higher value on the toy you bought yourself.
The basic principal is the harder you have to work to get something the more value you place upon it. This same principle can be applied to attracting women too. The easier you give in to a woman the less value she’ll give you, but the harder you are to get the more value she’ll place on you.
For example if you’re in a bar and a woman starts to flirt with you and right away you’re showing that you’re really into her, and acting like there’s no other woman for you, that’s going to set off some red flags for her because she knows that she didn’t put any real effort forth to attract you. But you still got really into her thus you must be a low value man who doesn’t get women and has to take the first one that comes along cause this doesn’t happen very often. She will lose attraction for you.
On the flip side if she starts to flirt with you and you flirt back (maybe tease her a little), after a while you get up and walk around the bar and talk to other women, you’re going to make her put forth some effort if she really wants to get you. When you do hook up with her she knows the work she had to put in to keep your attention so she then sees you as having higher value because you can be choosey about your women. You aren’t easily won over and you don’t just get on the first woman that comes along.
When you play hard to get with women you are sub-communicating to them that you already have women in your life and you don’t necessary need anymore. The funny part is when other women know that you already have women in your life it just makes them want you even more!