How many times have you been in the club, the grocery store, the library, wherever and you see a woman that catches your eye and you think, “I should go say something to her”, but then you don’t?
Why didn’t you go up to her? An excuse similar to the following probably stopped you: “Oh she looked busy”, “she was with her friends”, “she didn’t seem like she wanted to be bothered”, “I’m just relaxing, I don’t want to talk to anyone”, “she’s not my type”, etc.
Whatever excuses you’re telling yourself stop it!
Excuses are like drugs they are very addictive. When you didn’t approach the woman you felt down on yourself because you know that you should have approached.
Then you make an excuse (oh she was with her friends) and all of a sudden you feel a little better because now in your mind there’s no possible way you could have ever approached her because she was busy with her friends.
I call this “it’s not my fault” thinking. In reality you would have felt much better about yourself if you would have approached and gotten rejected rather than not approach at all because when you approached you acted like a man and did what you wanted.
The alpha male lives in his own reality and makes his own rules. If you see a woman you want to talk to, go and talk to her! Don’t think about it, just do it!
Women are naturally more aware of their social surroundings. If you are lingering around trying to get the courage to approach she will notice this. If you approach after lingering it most likely will come off as you were trying to think of something to say and it’ll come off very awkward. On the other hand if you approach with out thinking, it appears to her as if you just came out of no where and all of sudden here’s this cool guy sweeping her off her feet.
Approaching is not the only thing men make excuses about. Take this scenario: You approach a woman in a bar. You start talking to her and the interaction isn’t going anywhere. You bail and think to yourself, “what a bitch”. You blame the interaction going bad on her and not yourself. That is just another excuse.
Pound this in your head: It’s never the woman’s fault!
If she didn’t want to talk to you it’s likely you did something wrong somewhere in the interaction. You may have come off as needy, had bad body language, or said the same thing every other guy has said to her all night. Whatever it was something flipped a switch in her head that she shouldn’t make an effort to get to know you.
I’m not telling you this so you can feel bad about bad interactions. I’m telling you this because it is very important that you look at every interaction as a learning experience. Eliminating the excuse you use to protect your ego allows you to see the truth in the interaction.
All reactions that you get from women in the interaction should be viewed as feedback. If you’re getting positive reactions from her then you are getting feedback saying you are doing something right, keep doing it. If you are getting negative reactions from her you are getting negative feedback that you are doing something wrong, stop doing it or change it.
When you make excuses instead of taking it as feedback and learning from it, you are saying to yourself that you did nothing wrong therefore you have no reason to change and you will never improve.
You need to cut out all excuses and take responsibly for your own life. The excuses are not serving you in a positive way. The only thing they are doing is holding you back from being the cool successful man you deserve to be.