Jason Julius from Orgasm Arts goes over a great little game you can play with your date to smoothly initiate touch in a non creepy way.
Think back to a time when you were a little kid and a relative or friend gave you a new toy. When you would play with this new toy you really didn’t think too much about it. If the new toy were to break you may be sad but it’s not too big of a deal because you didn’t buy it anyway.
Now think to a time when you got allowance and if you wanted a new toy you had to work and save for weeks before you had the money to buy it. When you finally saved enough and had bought your new toy you respected it much more than the other toys you had gotten for free. You knew all the hard work you had to put in to be able to purchase it and therefore placed higher value on the toy you bought yourself.
The basic principal is the harder you have to work to get something the more value you place upon it. This same principle can be applied to attracting women too. The easier you give in to a woman the less value she’ll give you, but the harder you are to get the more value she’ll place on you.
For example if you’re in a bar and a woman starts to flirt with you and right away you’re showing that you’re really into her, and acting like there’s no other woman for you, that’s going to set off some red flags for her because she knows that she didn’t put any real effort forth to attract you. But you still got really into her thus you must be a low value man who doesn’t get women and has to take the first one that comes along cause this doesn’t happen very often. She will lose attraction for you.
On the flip side if she starts to flirt with you and you flirt back (maybe tease her a little), after a while you get up and walk around the bar and talk to other women, you’re going to make her put forth some effort if she really wants to get you. When you do hook up with her she knows the work she had to put in to keep your attention so she then sees you as having higher value because you can be choosey about your women. You aren’t easily won over and you don’t just get on the first woman that comes along.
When you play hard to get with women you are sub- communicating to them that you already have women in your life and you don’t necessary need anymore. The funny part is when other women know that you already have women in your life it just makes them want you even more!
One of the biggest mistakes men make once they’ve been talking to a woman for awhile, and things seem to be going well, is they don’t escalate further than just having a normal conversation. Once things are going well many men don’t take things further because they don’t want to screw things up, or they don’t believe that the woman could really be into them.
When you don’t escalate things in a sexual nature you are communicating to the woman that you don’t want a sexual relationship with her. You’re conveying that you just want to be friends and you’re likely to hear the words “just friends”.
Once you’ve been placed in the friend zone it’s very hard to get out of and if you’re in the friend zone and try to escalate sexually it will just come off as weird. If you find yourself in the friend zone with a woman it is usually best to move on and be happy you’ve made a new friend.
To avoid the friend zone you want to make your intentions known very early in the interaction. You are a sexual being and so is she. Don’t be afraid to be a man and bring out the woman in her.
By making your intentions known to her you are communicating that you are an alpha male who’s not afraid to go for what he wants, this is very attractive to her.
There are tons of different ways to escalate in the interaction.
Here are just a few examples:
– Communicate to her that she is sexy
– Touch her
– Tickle her
– Kiss her
– Make up pet names for her
– Whisper things in her ear
– When seated slowly start bringing your legs together so that they touch every so often.
If when you’re attempting to escalate and she seems a little distant it is probably because she doesn’t feel comfortable enough with you yet, so go back to normal conversation and try to escalate again later.
It’s important that if this does happen to not let it affect you, remember you are the confident alpha male that lives in his own reality and nothing bothers you. A woman wants to be picked up, but she wants you to do it. She’s not just going to hand her self over to you this is why it is so important to ESCALATE!
Men often pre-occupy themselves with trying to figure out if a woman is in to them. There are tons of subtle little things a woman will do while talking to you to let you know that she is interested in you sexually. Such as playful touching, flipping her hair, putting on lip-gloss, and the list goes on and on.
Rather then being to concerned at looking for these cues it’s a better practice to always assume it’s on, or always assume she’s into you and you can escalate in a sexual nature at any time. This is a better way of thinking for a couple different reasons.
- If you are always looking for cues that’s she’s into you, you can become to involved in looking for these cues and you’ll come off as you’re seeking to get something from her.
- When you always assume it’s on you are implanting in your head that all women want you and they have no choice but to be into you. What you believe to be true will become true.
So now that you know you need to escalate there is one more thing to keep in mind. When escalating in a public venue, such as a bar or club, you want to make sure to not escalate to far, to far meaning going past making out and going to arousal. Escalating this far can cause regret. Then she will associate those bad feelings toward you. Wait till you get to a private location before taking it to that level.
Here are some other key points to keep in mind when escalating:
Kissing or making out in a club is not a big deal to women. Often times an attractive woman will have multiple make outs every weekend she goes out and has kissed thousands of guys over her lifetime. Once you start thinking this way you will notice how incredibly easy it is to get a make out in the club.
Just because you got a make out doesn’t mean you’re going to get her number or hang out with her later, you just made out with her that’s it.
It is possible to have sex with a woman the same night you meet her. What you believe can happen will happen. There is no set amount of time a woman takes to decide to have sex with you. Once you display the right characteristics to her and she feels she knows the real you she will be ready for sex. She may take a week before she is ready with one man or she could be ready that night if a man is able to flip enough of her attraction switches.
Many men feel they need to wait to have sex with a woman in fear of disrespecting her or ruining their chances of becoming her boyfriend this is total bullshit! Having sex with a woman quickly will not ruin the chance of a future relationship with her! Actually if you have more of a chance of losing her if you get her to the point of being ready and wanting sex and not pulling the trigger!